So many of us suffer from false guilt, but we don’t have to. Today we’ll talk about six simple ways to deal with false guilt.
This is the perfect time to talk about guilt. Many of us made New Year’s resolutions, and like the average person, failed to keep them. Although there was no one telling us to make those resolutions in the first place, we can feel guilty at the perceived failure.
I’ve struggled with guilt all my life, but I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’ve observed people around me, the things they say, and I hear the same thoughts I’ve had myself: I should have done this. If I had only…
Many times we accept blame for things we can’t change or even for minor grievances we make up in our minds. This is false guilt.
How Should We View Guilt?
In order to understand false guilt, though, we must accept that there is true guilt.
We’re all guilty. Violation of God’s laws makes us so. We want to do what we want with no consequences, but there are always consequences. Just as we incur guilt when we break the laws of our land, there are other laws, higher laws, where the same rule holds true.
God has given each of us a conscience, and this conscience guides us in doing right. When we become a child of God, we are gifted with the Holy Spirit, which fine tunes our consciences to align with the will and view of God. If we choose to ignore the promptings of the Holy Spirit, we’ll be chided. This is true guilt.
Dr. Charles Stanley says the Holy Spirit will convict us of our sins. We aren’t beat down by our guilt, but instead we acknowledge our guilt and move to rectify it.
False guilt is the opposite. It’s what we feel for imagined wrongs or for past wrongs for which we’ve been forgiven. False guilt won’t bring a positive change.
How Should We Handle False Guilt?
We don’t have to go through life with the weight of guilt if we’ve accepted Jesus Christ as Lord. But how do we do that?
#1 – RECOGNIZE WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST.
It can be easy, especially if we’ve been raised in church, to hyperfocus on all the details. We think about those things we wanted to do or wanted to do better. Then we feel like failures—like we’re not good Christians.
But we can’t focus on the works.
Those works couldn’t save us before we children of God, and they can’t make us good enough after. That’s why Jesus died for us, because only He can do it all.
#2 – PRAY.
We can do nothing in our own strength, but the Holy Spirit working inside us can accomplish much. Ask for wisdom in knowing the difference in true and false guilt and for help in breaking free. God is faithful to help us when we seek Him earnestly.
#3 – LEARN TO RECOGNIZE FALSE GUILT IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes I’ll feel guilty without even realizing it. It’s as constant as a physical irritation that stays with me so long I don’t think about it anymore, but we must recognize the problem before we can fix it. The more we attempt to identify it, the better we’ll get each time.
#4 – ANALYZE IT.
Once we’ve isolated the problem, we can study it in a healthy way. Figure out what the root cause is for the false guilt. If I feel guilty about the amount of work I got done in a day, I should ask myself why. Am I holding myself to an impossible standard? Is there something in my past that makes me feel this way? Or have I not been feeling well?
#5 – ADDRESS THE FALSE GUILT.
We can deal with the guilt when we recognize it and know what’s causing it. I have to get assertive with myself when an imagined standard has a hold on me. What does it really matter if I don’t get all my housework done? I can’t imagine God telling me “Depart, for I never knew you. You didn’t clean your house well enough.” He’s more interested in the lives I’ve touched.
#6 – PRAY AGAIN.
We can do nothing apart from the Holy Spirit, but through Him we can take on the world.
FALSE GUILT CAN BE HARD TO BREAK, BUT WE CAN BREAK FREE WITH THE RIGHT MINDSET AND WITH HELP FROM GOD. WHAT ABOUT YOU? HOW DO YOU HANDLE FALSE GUILT? WHAT’S WORKED FOR YOU? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS.
*** This post was revised from the archives. Check out the original here. ***
WANT A LITTLE MORE reading? Check out these posts:
- Dealing with Guilt: My Simple Steps from HISsparrowBlog
- 4 Reasons Negative Self-Talk Needs To Go from HISsparrowBlog
I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.
I can identify. It took me a long time to realize that some of my guilt was false. I especially love this: “But we can’t focus on the works. Those works couldn’t save us before we children of God, and they can’t make us good enough after. That’s why Jesus died for us, because only He can do it all.”
I think many of us struggle with false guilt—espcially those raised in a church environment. It’s so easy for us to focus on the doing, isn’t it? Thank you so much for commenting, Barbara!
False guilt is so damaging. At times I struggle with this. Thank you for the tips on how to handle it. I featured your post on my Grace and Truth board on Pinterest.
Yes, it’s so damaging, yet we struggle with it many times without even realizing it. Thank you so much for commenting and for the feature, Maree!
This is such an important topic, Ashley. Too many of us (myself included) can heap false guilt on our backs unnecessarily. It’s so important to discern between what is legitimate guilt, which leads to change, and false guilt, which only leads shame. I appreciate your wise approach in addressing this.
Yes, it’s so important to know the difference between the two, Lisa. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Great analysis here—and I recently read something about Satan’s response to our sin that seems to apply here. He is all in favor of our sin before we commit to it, but afterwards he is all about condemnation. He uses it to drive a wedge between us and God.
That is such a good point, Micehele!
Thank you, Ashley, like you, I have struggled with guilt all my life. Most of it false guilt! Guilt is good in the right context, but I think satan relishes using it as a tool to keep us from true repentance and living in God’s grace.
I think you so are right, Donna! Thank you for commenting!
Ashley, this is a much needed topic. I’m so glad you addressed this. You were speaking right to me today.
Visiting today from Joanne’s
I’m so glad you were encouraged, Paula. Thank you for commenting!
I love how you added prayer twice to the list of dealing with false guilt! Pray without ceasing is what Jesus says to do, but I’m guilty of not doing that! Staying connected to our identity in Christ that prayer helps us do throughout our day is an essential key to navigating our day full of God’s grace, isn’t it?
You’re so right, Lynn. Prayer is essential to remembering our identity in Christ. You wouldn’t think something so easy and vital would slip our minds, would you? We’re interesting creatures. Thanks so much for commenting!