Life can feel dark when we’re experiencing trials, but today we’ll talk about a few thoughts on how to grow and mature despite the hard times.

I have a confession to make: Sometimes I revert to thinking like I’m in a fairytale. This one meets that one, and they live happily ever after. This happens and that happens and . . . they live happily ever after.

As a young adult, I was thankful to finally be grown and past all the crippling insecurities and emotional growing pains. I just knew that it was finally my time. But then so many of them returned in my thirties.

As a newlywed, even as I told myself I knew “happily ever after” wasn’t realistic, I still fell into the same thought pattern.

Periodically, I find myself thinking that my trials and struggles are in the past. Many of them are—thank goodness—but there will be others.

This can seem negative and depressing, but unfortunately, it’s part of living in our fallen world.

No one knew this better than the disciples.

In fact, Scripture says there were times when the disciples rejoiced when they experienced persecution and trials.

Rejoiced!

And Paul famously said in James, “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials.”

This can seem like a tall order many times. Impossible even.

Thoughts on How to Grow and Mature in Trials

#1 – Joy and Happiness

I’ve seen this discussed many times, but I think it’s worth another shot. And these are just thoughts on the topic—how I keep them straight in my own mind.

Joy is a state of being. It is unchangeable. We have joy because Jesus has pulled our souls out of the miry pit. We are His. For always.

Happiness is an emotion. We can be happy, sad, mad, frustrated, discouraged, excited, etc. Those things change based on so many factors. And sometimes they may not even make logical sense based on the facts.

As Christians, we can feel as though we’re bad Christians if we’re not happy all the time. But that’s not a requirement. And it’s not realistic.

But there are also things we can do to help guide our emotions. Now, of course, I’m not a psychologist, and I’m not suggesting that any ol’ hurt can be cured by the following, but the following tips can help us remember to look beyond ourselves, our emotions, and our circumstances.

• Pray.
• Praise God for who He is (check out this post for names and attributes of God).
• Think about and thank God for the innumerable ways He’s faithfully provided in the past.
• Read Scripture and be reminded of God’s awesome power in the stories of those before us and that you’re not alone.
• Journal your thoughts and feelings as a prayer to God.

#2 – Trials Universal

One of the worst things about trials is how they make us feel as though we’re alone. We feel like we’re the only ones experiencing this time. Even if others are there with us, our reactions are unique to us.

Although it’s true that we can experience different things or different circumstances can affect us differently from person to person, we still all have stuff. We are the same in that.

Whether rich or poor, believer or non-believer, parent or child . . .

Remember: We are not alone.

#3 – Promise and Purpose

Not only are we not alone in the sense that others experience hard times, too, but we are not alone in the sense that God is walking through it with us.

As children of God, our trials serve a greater purpose. We can rest assured that the time and difficulty is never wasted because trials are:

• testing and refining our faith.
• producing perseverance and maturity.
• revealing God’s power and grace.
• preparing us to help others.

Dr. Charles Stanley had a quote that encourages me about hard times:

#4 – Witness

When life gets especially hard, it can be difficult to think about our witness. In those times when we’re struggling to get out of bed or do the overwhelming day-to-day, how we come across to someone else may not even cross our minds.

And I think that’s okay. My husband has mentioned something several times recently, and I’ve really been thinking about it. Sometimes, as Christians, we feel a pressure to always respond happy.

Whether we’re happy or not.

I suspect that many non-believers see this about us and are turned off. Because we can come across as fake.

And all anyone hears from a Christian is how blessed they are to be rich and in good health and have a perfect family and all the things—#blessed, right?

But that’s not when our witness is effective. Fake happy is usually obvious. It’s when things are hard, and we’re real and honest about it—that it’s not fun at all—yet we can still say that we serve a good God.

Remember: We don’t have to be fake happy.

Experiencing trials in this life is universal, but we can know that we are never alone in them and they are never wasted.

What helps you grow and mature in trials? Share in the comments below.

more reading

• 30 Life Principles: Life-Changing Biblical Truths by Dr. Charles Stanley
• When the Fear of Failure Paralyzes You, Remember This from HISsparrowBlog
• Why We Gotta Stop Shoulding Ourselves and Others from HISsparrowBlog
• Feel Like a Failure: 3 Reminders of Encouragement from HISsparrowBlog

I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.