Many of us wish we could undo past mistakes. We look back and wish we’d known then what we know now. Today we’ll talk about six things I wish I’d known sooner.
Have you ever wanted a do-over? There’s a whole span of my life I’d love to do better.
I’ve pictured the whole thing. Maybe I could go back and give my old self a “talking to.” No, that wouldn’t work. I’ve watched enough movies to know that would cause some rift in the space-time continuum.
Maybe I could just re-live my life. I’d know what I know now, of course. Wait, that wouldn’t work either. What would happen to everyone else who didn’t re-live their lives? And what would happen if you didn’t like something? There would be a continuous loop. God doesn’t give do-overs.
There’s no getting around it. I have to live with the choices I’ve made, but I have it on good authority that God can use even our mistakes for good.
I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve seen good come already, and I trust that more good will come. See, we’re all connected. He uses the circumstances of each of us to help others.
I trust God will use my mess-ups to help someone else.
Six Truths I Wish I’d Known Earlier
#1 – GOD’S ADVICE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR THE ASKING.
My number one mistake has always been not asking God’s will. Whatever the situation. I could have saved myself so much heartache, wasted time, and money—you name it.
The sad thing is, I read my Bible and wanted to do the right thing, but it never even occurred to me to ask the One I wanted to please what His opinion was. Don’t make the same mistake.
#2 – NOT EVERYONE WHO SAYS THEY’RE A CHRISTIAN, IS.
I don’t say this for purposes of judging everyone you meet, but the Bible has given us guidance on recognizing His people by the fruit they bear.
I didn’t understand this when I was younger because I was naive enough to take a person at their word. Now I know to look further. By the time I met my husband, I knew not to take him at his word. Yes, his word was important:
But did he also read his Bible?
Did he go to church?
Did he want to talk about God?
Did he want to do all these things before he met me?
Was he consistent in what he said he believed and what he did?
Was he respectful to those around him?
You get the idea.
Being a Christian is more than saying it, checking a box, or sitting in a pew. It’s a relationship that starts with accepting Jesus Christ as Savior. Then it’s borne out when the Holy Spirit moves us to live differently than the world around us. This is what others will see.
And it’s how we recognize each other. It’s important in identifying those we need to pray for; it’s important in knowing who we shouldn’t date and marry; and it’s necessary in knowing those with whom we should and shouldn’t go into business partnerships.
When you attach yourself to someone who doesn’t really believe in Jesus, their attitudes will influence you. You won’t pull them to God.
#3 – IT REALLY ONLY MATTERS WHAT ONE PERSON THINKS OF ME.
Oh, the places I would go. I’ve come far, but I’m still working on this one. Not that I have any of them mastered, but this one’s on a bane-of-my-existence kind of level.
You know, I didn’t even know my hair was wavy until adulthood? That’s a silly example, but it’s a microcosm of the bigger problem. What else have I missed—what opportunity to grow, to help someone—because I was afraid to step out?
#4 – GOD’S GOT THIS. REALLY.
Dr. Charles Stanley had a story he told that ended with God saying to him, “Charlie, do you want your best for you or Mine?” I did my life my way for the majority of the last decade. I didn’t trust that God had a plan for me and took things into my own hands.
I had a schedule to keep after all.
Everyone knows education, marriage, and a family have a strict timetable. As time went on, the more panicked I became and the less I listened, because things weren’t going according to my plan.
The world is wrong. The only schedule to keep is God’s.
#5 – THE BIBLE IS THE ULTIMATE COMPASS.
Did you know all life’s problems can be solved in the Bible? It’s the blueprint for our lives.
Want to know how a man should treat you? Look in the Bible.
Want to know how you should treat a man? Read the Bible.
Need to know how to deal with difficult people? You guessed it. The Bible will tell you.
We have to read it, though, to know it. This, for the most part, hasn’t been my problem. I’ve had more an application problem. See, step two after reading is applying what we read. We have to reach that point when we say, “I’m living by the Word of God. Period.”
#6 – Don’t waste time wishing to change past mistakes.
I’ve wasted so much time on this. Shame and guilt can keep us looking backward sometimes at all the things we’d do differently if we could.
What if I hadn’t dated him?
What if I had changed my major?
What if…
A really good friend of mine has a saying about this, and it comes to me often: “There’s no such thing as what if.” It’s a wonderful reminder that we can’t change the past. It is what it is at this point.
And besides, we are not perfect. We all know the saying that hindsight is 20-20, but sometimes we forget that even if we could go back and fix those mistakes that haunt us, we would have made others. We would never find a time when we didn’t have something to regret.
This is the whole reason Jesus died for us.
Unfortunately, there is no do-over. How I’ve wanted one so many times. I’m sure that’s not healthy. Forward is the only way to go. I have a choice: I can wallow in past mistakes, or I can ask forgiveness and move on. I must run the race set before me now.
The same goes for you—whatever your situation.
If you’ve not accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, there’s still time, but the time is now. Don’t waste precious time. Yes, you’re a sinner. He died for your sins and rose again to give you LIFE. Accept his gift and live.
Pray a prayer like this if you choose life:
Lord, I’ve sinned against You. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Please forgive me. Wash me clean. I accept You as my Savior. Thank You for Your death on the cross and for rising again that I can have life through You. Amen.
If you just prayed that prayer, I’m so happy for you. Get a Bible (any translation you’ll read) and read it every day. There are great resources at In Touch Ministries.
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN sooner?
*** This post was revised from the archives. Check out the original here. ***
HERE’S A LITTLE MORE READING FOR YOU!
- 5 Simple Reminders for When You Can’t Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes from HISsparrowBlog
- 4 Simply Powerful Reminders for Insecurity from HISsparrowBlog
- 10 Effective Productivity Tips for Procrastination from HISsparrowBlog
I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.
I know what you mean. I have many regrets as well. I didn’t grow up in a Christian family and had no idea about praying about whom to date. I dated one guy for four years and was engaged part of that time, but it was all wrong. Thankfully God redirected me before it was too late. I still struggle over whether I should have changed my major in college (I didn’t but often felt like I should have). And one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t welcome my mother-in-law with open arms when we took care of her in our home for five years. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I too often resented the intrusion into “my” time, home, and plans. I’ve so wished I had done things differently in some parts of my life. But as you say, that’s not possible. I’ve learned, though, it doesn’t help to keep beating myself up over regrets. All we can do is confess them to the Lord and learn from them.
I was thinking just the other day about my major in college and wishing I’d done something different. But you are right: beating ourselves up over past regrets doesn’t get us anywhere. Thanks so much for sharing, Barbara!
Excellent lessons! I think this would make a good testimony to young people too!
Yes! You’re probably right. Although that could go on most of our lists, couldn’t it? Listen to the advice of those with more experience. Thanks so much for commenting, Debbie!
I love your wisdom here, Ashley. I’ve wished for do-overs plenty of times too. Sometimes we get another chance in a different situation, often we don’t. In “we don’t know what we don’t know” cases, I’m thankful that there’s grace to say, “I did the best I knew how to do.” I had to tell myself this quite often after my parents died.
Yes: what we don’t know we need to know. I’ve often wanted do-overs for those moments, but, like you said, we can only do the best we know how to do in the moment. Thanks so much for sharing, Lois! Always glad to “see” you.
Nodding and amening!
Thank you for stopping by, Michele!
Great post Ashley! I’ve always said to my husband I wish God gave us “practice” lives, then we could get the real one and of course fix all the mistakes. But as you say, it just can’t happen. I wonder too, if we wouldn’t make all the same mistakes anyway?
Your wisdom is so spot on, especially not ruminating on past mistakes!
Yes, I finally realized that I would probably have made other mistakes with a do-over, but you are exactly right. We would probably make the same mistakes. We make the decisions we make in large part to the mistakes we’ve made. Thanks so much for sharing, Donna!