Life in the Box: Understanding Identity

We all have boxes in our lives. Today we’ll talk about some thoughts on those and how they can change throughout our lives.


Middle age is an interesting place to be. Although by some measures, I’m not quite middle-aged, I feel as though I am. And if I live to let’s say eighty to eighty-five, I am roughly in the middle. So, yeah.

There are some things that have gone downhill, which I’m sure you can probably guess, but there are many positive things too.

Now this time can get a bad rep. We tend to look back over our lives at this stage and bemoan the speed of time. But as I look back over my life so far, I don’t have the urge to relive it.

Because I’m not the same person I was back then. I haven’t learned everything by any means at all, but I can’t help but see the different me’s at each stage. I can see how different I am now to how I ever imagined before.

In each stage of me, there were boxes that were important to me. And with so many of them, I thought they were integral to me. To my identity.

Life in the Box Understanding Identity | HISsparrowBlog

Thoughts on the Boxes We Live In

#1 – Everything is some kind of box.

There are so many boxes in which we live. Our hobbies and professions. The countries and regions we live in. Our personalities and interests. Political beliefs. Race, religious beliefs, and sexuality. And as soon as we leave one box, we automatically join another.

#2 – There is comfort in our boxes even as we resent them sometimes.

We all seek to understand—or make sense—of the world around us. Many times our boxes can help us do that.

#3 – We tend to mistrust those in other boxes.

As we seek to understand the world, we make choices based on our experiences. But it can be disconcerting when other’s choices are the opposite of ours. We wonder if we’re wrong. Or sometimes we can’t bring ourselves to question our worldviews and so just assume the other person must be wrong.

#4 – Our boxes blind us sometimes.

So often it’s hard for us to see out of our current box—like they’re made with high, solid walls around us and others—and see the people around us.

#5 – Our boxes are not the point.

As I mentioned earlier, we all have so many boxes around us, but they are not what is most important. The heart of the person next to us and sharing the love of Jesus is the only thing that matters.

#6 – Our boxes don’t define us.

As comforting as it is to know my boxes, they can’t define me. Or you. Only one person can do that and that’s the one who bled for our sins.

“‘You shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:38- NASB

Over the first half of my life, there were so many things I felt were integral to my identity that no longer apply. There have been times when I felt guilty about that—like maybe there was some people-pleasing or just going with the flow. Maybe there was some of that, but it’s okay for boxes to change as we grow because they don’t define us or our neighbors.  

We can use them for a time. I look forward to seeing how they change in the second half of my life.

What about you? Have your boxes changed? Share in the comments below.


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I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.

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I love to help people see their value in Christ because once we understand that our potential to lead healthy lives that impact others for Christ is limitless.

This Post Has 12 Comments

  1. Lisa notes

    These things are so true, Ashley. We all live inside certain boxes and around the edges of other boxes, but they ultimately don’t determine our identity. I occasionally benefit in stepping outside my boxes to see what else is mine to do that I might have overlooked. 🙂

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Love that, Lisa! Stepping out of your box. May we all be willing to step out to love others. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  2. Jerralea Winn Miller

    Yeah, my boxes don’t look at all like I thought they would when I went out on my own. I’m wondering by the end of my Journey if they will all change drastically again?

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Yes, I’ve been wondering how they will change in the future. Hey, maybe it’ll fun to see the different ones, right? Thank you for reading, Jerralea!

  3. Joanne Viola

    You make a very valid point, Ashley. My boxes have have changed over the years. The change in boxes represent growth and that is a good thing. May we keep growing, keep learning, and allow God to transform us into what He intended all along.

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Yes, well said, Joanne. I look foward to seeing how my boxes change in the future. Thanks so much for commenting!

  4. Lois Flowers

    Wonderful post, Ashley. I think one of the things I like the most about getting older is learning to become comfortable with the person I’ve always been but perhaps didn’t understand or appreciate. Does that make any sense? In terms of your boxes metaphor, maybe when I was younger I wished to fit in boxes that were not right for me?

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      That totally makes sense, Lois, and it’s an excellent point. Thank you for commenting!

  5. Paula

    Oh yes, my boxes sure have changed. I’m encouraged by your insights here.
    Visiting today from Joanne’s

  6. Michele Morin

    Here’s to good conversation among boxes! I need the wisdom of those who inhabit boxes that are unfamiliar to me, and hope to impart wisdom to those in boxes I’ve discarded or aged out of.
    We really do need each other!

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      You’re so right, Michele. Thank you for reading and commenting!

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