At the beginning of this year I wrote a post on five bad habits I wanted to break this year. Apparently, it was a doozy of a list considering it’s now halfway through November and I’m on number four.
Yikes.
But progress is progress, I suppose. This Christian walk is no walk in the park. It feels like taking five steps forward and three back sometimes.
And I’m sure I say this each time, but a critical spirit is a big issue. It’s required quite a bit of reflection to write this post.
A critical spirit can sneak up on anyone.
I always thought I had a naturally positive attitude. Gratefulness and a little pride intermingled for an interesting mix of feeling immune to a critical spirit. After all, a critical spirit describes a person, right?
But I’m learning that no one’s immune. Especially me. It’s true that, as a Christian with the fruit of the Holy Spirit, a critical spirit shouldn’t characterize my life. However, as Paul said, I do what I don’t want to do.
So what are the signs of a critical spirit?
I’ve noticed several behaviors and thought patterns that point to a critical spirit:
- A negative view of my own circumstances, the behavior and intentions of others, and Iife in general.
- Jealousy of the success and rewards of others, and a feeling that another’s success is a reflection of my own lack or shortcomings.
- Selfish reactions to anything I perceive as fringing on my rights, needs,or desires.
- Passive aggressive tendencies with any perceived slight.
- Hyper-sensitivity to the comments and actions of others.
- The desire to educate others with my own negative opinion and distorted view of circumstances.
- Ungratefulness for my own blessings.
- An urge to compete in ‘suffering,‘ and for someone else to agree I’ve been dealt a bad hand.
- A satisfaction at the misfortune of others, because either I saw it coming and/or they finally understand how I feel.
Although it’s possible, most of us don’t have all of these characteristics at one time. But even exhibiting several of these at once can damage our witness. Critical spirits are direct contradictions to the love and sacrifice and encouragement we should exhibit to others as Christians.
What do I do?
They say the first step is to realize there is a problem, and that’s true, but it can also be overwhelming. It’s not always so obvious as to what should come next. When that happens to me, as I’m sure you’ve heard me say before, it’s helpful to get back to the basics.
#1 – Remember who I am apart from Christ.
#2 – Remember what was done for me when I didn’t deserve it.
#3 – Remember what I have because of Christ.
Have you ever realized you’re struggling with a critical spirit? What clued you in, and what did you do about it? Share in the comments below.
More reading:
- 5 Bad Habits I Want to Break This Year from HISsparrowBlog
- 5 Ways to Overcome a Critical Spirit from Crosswalk
- Overcoming a Critical Spirit from the Biblical Counseling Coalition
All Posts in the Bad Habits Series
I have came a long way in this area, but as you say, sometimes I take steps backwards. I find that focusing on praise and giving thanks keeps me grounded in Christ.
That’s what I’ve been doing more lately. It’s amazing how focusing on thanksgiving and praises can change a mindset. Thank you, as always, for your encouragement!
I too, thought I was immune to having a critical spirit. But it can sneak up on you. When things start looking gray and life seems harder than it should be is a sign for me. Usually, my own self-care and time with God are being skipped. This was a great article. Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth LInk-Up.
Excellent point. We can definitely slip into a critical spirit when we neglect our time with God. Thanks for stopping by!
Wow! I so needed to hear this right now. Need to get in my knees and lift a prayer of repentance up to the courts of heaven.
I’m so glad you found this article helpful!
Thanks for this post. I’ve been dealing with this stuff lately and I needed some Biblical guidance.
I’m so glad you found it helpful!
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I knew something was wrong but couldn’t pinpoint it. I memorized Psalm 19:12-14 and began to pray that over myself. I asked God to show the sins lurking in my heart and to cleanse me from these hidden faults. He’s been showing me what they were, I just didn’t have a name for it. I caught just a small portion of Focus on the Family where the subject was Critical Spirits. Bam! That was it. I have so much work to do. Thank you for your post. It isn’t fun to read all my faults but I can work on changing them now. Long road ahead.
It can be so uncomfortable facing our faults, but it’s a constant necessity to evaluate our lives and align them with God’s will. I love how you used Scripture to pray for cleansing and insight. Thanks for stopping in!
I’m at a new and sometimes difficult
season of my life. My husband is 79 this year and I’ll be 75. My heart is to do what’s right and help him as much as I can. But today I got a reality check when he said “you have a critical spirit”. It through me for a loop as I need to keep reminding him of things he forgets. We will be celebrating 55 yrs in Feb. How can I separate helping and not sound critical when I’m trying to keep him in check!
Thank you for any scripture or godly advise! Penelope
Hello, Penelope! I’m sure it was difficult to hear that from your husband. I love how, instead of getting defensive, you were open to growing in your own personal growth and your marriage. I tend to get defensive. That’s something I’m working on. I’m no psychologist, and I don’t know all the facts, but my initial thoughts are that it seems like you want to help your husband. This doesn’t sound like a critical spirit to me. I think as women created to be helpmates for our husbands, we want to help them. But we live in a fallen world and we’re not perfect, so sometimes our efforts to help can become a little controlling and nagging. We can forget that our husbands are still responsible for their own choices. We can’t make them do what we think is best for them, so sometimes we have to gently tell them and back off. Talk to your husband to understand why he said what he did. Maybe explain to him that you only want to help him, and ask him how you can best do that. Thank you so much for stopping in, Penelope, and I pray you find some kind of nugget in my messy attempt. Blessings to you and your husband!
Yesterday I was talking about something and said “not be the one with a critical spirit but….” and continued with my negative thoughts on a situation. I am very thankful overall with this particular thing and instead of talking about the blessing of it I felt the need to air my negative thoughts on it.
This morning the spirit led me back to what I said and I realized the Spirit was showing me exactly what I had asked yesterday morning in prayer. I had asked if He would bring to light things I needed to work on and pray about in my life.
I found your post after doing a google search about “critical spirits”. I’m a few years behind but thank you for this.
Oh, you’re not late, Heather! Perhaps God prompted this post for you at this time. I’m so glad you were encouraged, and honestly, you encouraged me with your comment—and reminded me of an area I could stand to work on again in my own life. Lately, I’ve found myself doing just what you described. Maybe it’s time for another post on this topic, huh? Thank you so much for stopping by!