Valentine’s Day. What a polarizing holiday. I’ve had times in my life when I dreaded the day. Other times I was excited because I actually had a boyfriend. Many of us have mixed feelings about it. Regardless, I think we feel pressured to find someone—anyone—so we don’t feel alone.

This is a mistake, but it’s so easy to make.

I think it’s time for evaluation if you aren’t married. Don’t make the mistake of staying with someone who’s wrong for you just to have someone by your side. You’ll regret it one day, so read on to find out how to tell if you’re with the one.

How to Know if He’s the One

#1 – Does he love God?

Your significant other should pass this test first. Not one for height, wage, hair color, or whatever might be on your list. Yes, I think you should be with someone you find attractive, but we tend to make a list of those who are “acceptable” and ignore the one who would be wonderful for us.

I had a list at one time. He would love horses as much as I do, be a country boy, and be taller than I am… The one God sent my way was pretty much the opposite of most things on my list. And you know what? I’m attracted to him. I’m glad now I didn’t end up with someone who fit my list because God knows so much better than I do.

When you find someone who loves God, you won’t need any list of how he should treat you because he’ll treat you like the treasure you are.

#2 – What does God say?

This should be the ultimate deciding factor. Heartache can still follow if you find someone who loves God but isn’t intended for you. 

God is concerned about all the decisions in our lives, especially one as big as choosing a mate. I know some people disagree with this sentiment, but biblically, trouble always followed leaving God out of the decision-making process. Take Sarah, Abraham, Saul, David, Solomon…all perfect examples and the list doesn’t end with them.

The trick is knowing when God is telling you something versus wanting a certain answer. Keep these things in mind:

God will never tell you to do something that violates His Word.

The Bible is a glimpse into God’s point of view; part of its purpose is to guide us by showing us how God thinks.

We serve an unchanging God. He’s the same now as when time began, so He won’t tell us something now that contradicts His instructions in the past.

The Holy Spirit inside you will provide direction.

When we accept Jesus Christ as Lord, the Holy Spirit—God—lives within us. If God tells you something, it will match His Word and His Spirit. Listen to it. If you’re with the wrong person, you’ll feel unease even though sometimes you might be able to mask it. The right person will cause no doubt.

And that’s it. These steps are really all you need. I hope you find these tips helpful this Valentine’s Day, and stay tuned for my next Valentine’s post – I Am Loved.

I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment below and let me know how you know if he’s the one (or she).

Here’s a little reading on marriage if you’re interested:

• 5 Verses and Prayers that Will Bless Your Marriage from Beth at Messy Marriage
• How Much Work DOES Marriage Take? from HISsparrowBlog
• 5 Little Things My Husband Does That I Love from HISsparrowBlog