When the Answer is No

We’re all waiting for something. Today we’ll talk about what we can learn about faith when God’s answer is no.

When the Answer is No | HISsparrowBlog

I came to faith at a young age. Raised in church, one day the sermon seemed like…more. It was a call. My moment of truth had come. Although I didn’t immediately make my eternal decision, God accepted me. I was so grateful, and I wanted to live my little life for Him. 

I formed the habit of reading a chapter from my little pink Bible and then my King James black, leather-bound Bible from my grandfather. 

As an avid reader, I was especially drawn to the Old Testament stories. I read them over and over. I wanted to be a girl after God’s own heart like David—even through the many mistakes. I wanted to have the courage and loyalty to leave my homeland to follow the God of Israel like Ruth. To have the courage to stand up for an entire nation like Esther. To know that I was made for a time such as this. 

I wanted the happy ending.

Faith or Not? 

Fast forward a couple of decades and I’ve met and married someone so much more than I’d hoped for. But he’s had a vasectomy—a decision he regrets. 

I have faith, though. My God can and will give me my heart’s desire. He is fully able. I just have to be strong and patient—faithful. 

Fast forward another decade and there are still no more children. But I realize now how I really thought of God as the keeper of the good for those who are patient and faithful enough. Like the heroes from the Old Testament and my books, there’s a happy ending for the good hero. 

Faith isn’t being good enough because then it would be works, and I can’t earn anything based on my own merit. Not even where faith is involved. 

Quite the paradox. Have faith. But then even faith is a gift from God. 

I’ve learned faith is believing God is fully able—yes—but it’s also trusting His will and plan for my life even if His answer is no.

When the Answer is No

#1 – Somehow a deeper faith results.

I often hear people say that you shouldn’t treat God like a genie in a bottle. I’ve even thought or said that myself while falling into the same trap.

God’s purpose is not to give me everything I think I want. Although He lavishes blessings upon me, He is not Someone to be ordered anything. 

Somehow, in not getting what I want, I have been reminded that God is God. 

#2 – Sometimes God removes the desire.

This will probably be my last infertility post because the desire just isn’t there anymore. God has other plans for me, and, in His mercy, He has removed this completely from my focus.   


I don’t know what you’re waiting for today. Maybe it’s a child of your own, or a mate, or financial stability, or health and healing, or even a fulfilling career. We’re all waiting for something. 

But in the wait, we can remember that we can’t make anything happen by being…whatever…enough. 

I still believe in happy endings. They just happen differently than we expect sometimes, and that’s okay.

And, Sweetie, I’d marry you again in a heartbeat. 

What are you waiting for today? What encourages you to trust God’s will no matter what happens? Feel free to share in the comments below.


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I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.

HISsparrowBlog

I love to help people see their value in Christ because once we understand that our potential to lead healthy lives that impact others for Christ is limitless.

This Post Has 22 Comments

  1. Judy+Warmack

    Your heartfelt thoughts are truly inspiring. Sometimes God changes our focus and puts it on something else. Even at my stage in life, there are things I am still waiting on and praying about. God is so good to guide and lead us to our destination.

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Love that, Judy: “God is so good to guide and lead us to our destination.” It’s so true. Thank you so much for stopping by!

  2. Stacey Pardoe

    What a powerful message! I needed this today. Thanks for the reminder that he is still working – even when the answer is no!

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      I’m so glad you were encouraged, Stacey! And yes, God is always working. Thanks for dropping by today!

  3. Donna

    Oh Ashley, I am sorry for your hard infertility journey, I cannot imagine hearing that “NO” on more than one occasion over the years. I so appreciate your wisdom here, as we all have prayers and desires that seem to go unanswered, or seem to be a “NO”. Thank you for your encouragement today!

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      You would think it’s been hard, and there were moments at one time or another, but, at this point, not so much. I’m so grateful for a God who doesn’t leave us in that place of frustration. Thank you so much for commenting today!

  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    I really really want to live,
    so many places yet to go,
    so much I think I still can give,
    and yet, and yet, the answer’s No.
    I really do not want to die,
    not bathed in blood and puke and pain,
    not seeing all my loved dreams fly,
    but the answer’s No, again.
    And so I’m up against the wall,
    and cancer’s got the final say,
    so I will just do my all
    from now until my dying day
    to praise my God with lifted hands
    and hope He somehow understands.

  5. Jerralea Winn Miller

    Ashley, wow! So much I could say here … but I’ve been where you are at. I’ve walked the road of infertility. And I’ve also had prayers answered with “No.” Sometimes, I later can see why the answer was no, and sometimes not.

    But one thing I know, He has my good at heart. For example, I once prayed my house would sell. I prayed that for 3 years because I wanted to live somewhere else (in another state.) The answer was no because God knew something i didn’t. He knew a storm was coming my way and I would need the shelter of a paid-for home and the help of our family and friends in our home town.

    Thanks so much dropping by my site and giving some extra love! I appreciate it!

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      I love that, Jerralea. So many times we can’t see the purpose in the moment, but we can rest assured that there is a purpose. Thank you so much for your comment!

  6. Lisa Blair

    Ashley, thank you for being so vulnerable. {Big hug} I weep with you for the frustration and the struggles of years gone by, and I rejoice with you in the removed desire, settled peace, and contentment. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate this truth, “We’re all waiting for something. They just happen differently than we expect sometimes, and that’s okay.”

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Yes, I’m so grateful for the removed desire. What a blessing. Thank you for commenting!

  7. Adonai Shalom USA

    The journey can be tough, but your faithfulness to the LORD will surely be rewarded. Thank you for posting in such a vulnerable way – this will minister to many, I am sure. Shalom

  8. Jan

    We change over time, don’t we. Our desires may not be the same as they once were….n that in itself is indeed a good gift too!

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Well said, Jan. A gift. You’re so right. Thanks so much for commenting!

  9. Debbie Wilson

    It’s easy to personalize a “no” as rejection or as He doesn’t care about my desires. May God grant us grace to trust His “no”s as loving yeses to something better, as you received with deeper faith. Jesus asked for the cup of suffering to be taken if it was God’s will. Hebrews says He was heard. The cup wasn’t taken but He received strength to do God’s will which brought us salvation. The mysteries of God.

    1. HISsparrowBlog

      Excellent point, Debbie: “No” is not a rejection, but we can perceive it that way. God always has our good in mind, though. His will be done, right, because He’s so much better at directing the universe than I am. Thank you for stopping by!

  10. Paula Short

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Your message is very insightful and encouraging.
    Let’s Have Coffee #7

  11. Anita Ojeda

    I love how God can change the desires of our hearts–that’s what I’m learning to pray for. That I desire what God wants me to desire.

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