What’s more paralyzing sometimes than the fear of failure? We’ll talk about that today as well as something to remember the next time we struggle.
When I was younger, I thought adults knew how to do everything. I waited for that moment when, finally, I would be grown enough. I would know, too. That never happened.
I also thought as a child that once you’re grown, it’s happy ever after. Sure, there would be some hardships, but you’re not having to choose a career, wonder if you’re enough for someone to love, or even ask yourself if you can do this thing called life.
Adults don’t have as many new things to learn as children—true—but we’re never finished learning new things. There are different seasons in life even so, and each one comes with new things to learn—new marriages, new homes, new people, new jobs, new diagnoses, new losses.
That new period in a season can be exciting, especially when it’s a long-awaited season, but it can be intimidating, too. Even paralyzing.
A New Season
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here yet, but I’m in a new season myself. Since last September, I’ve been learning to be a proofreader.
Makes sense, right? I’m a writer, and I’ve always been a reader, so it follows that I could also be a proofreader.
Well, it does make sense, and I do think I could be a good proofreader, but I’ve also learned there’s more to it than that. So much more. Sometimes the more you find out about a subject, the more you realize there is so much more you don’t know.
That old familiar question hangs out like an unwanted guest in my mind—just when I think it’s gone, it pops right back in with its obnoxious question.
What if I fail?
When the Fear of Failure Paralyzes You, Remember This
Recently, though, this question has doggedly circled my mind as well: What exactly would constitute failure?
I’m wondering about this in a broader sense although learning to proofread prompted it, but it can help to focus on a particular situation sometimes to apply it to the whole.
But each time I’ve tried to answer, I’ve drawn a blank. So, I looked up the definition. Â
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, failure has a couple of basic definitions:
Lack of success
Failing to perform a duty or expected action
Okay. So…
That makes sense, I guess. A lack of success would constitute a failure.
But in my proofreading journey, what would be successful? A certain job? A specific number of clients? Or a certain salary? How would I know that I was successful?
Success seems a little nebulous to me.
Okay. To the second definition: “failing to perform a duty or expected action.” Now this one may be getting somewhere.
Could it be that the reason I’ve struggled to answer my question is that there isn’t a real, quantitative answer to it? There’s no number I could put down so that I’d know I was successful because the expectation would always change.
If you’re showing up, then you’re succeeding.
It never ceases to amaze me how we circle. What I never knew as a child was that yes, there is so much to learn when you’re young, but then so many things must be relearned. This is one of those times.
This blog was the beginning of one of my latest new seasons. The biggest lesson I’ve learned through maintaining HISsparrowBlog is that you do what you can do as you can do it.
Starting small is okay. There is always more to learn.
But always show up. God will handle the results.
I am beginning a new season in my life, which can be daunting when the fear of failure threatens to paralyze me. However, blogging has helped me to learn that success has more to do with my willingness to always show up and to trust God to take it from there.
For the record, when I say that blogging has been a season, it doesn’t mean that season has ended. Proofreading is just another one. 🙂
What helps you when the fear of failure paralyzes you? Let me know in the comments below.
More reading
- 3 Simple Truths for When You Feel Like a Failure from HISsparrowBlog
- 5 Things to Remember When Fellow Christians Fall from HISsparrowBlog
- 5 Wonderful Verses for Discouragement from HISsparrowBlog
I frequently link up with the following: Grace & Truth with Embracing the Unexpected, Tell His Story with Jeanne Takenaka, and Let’s Have Coffee with Joanne Viola.
I love this post, Ashley. You’re so right that if we’re showing up, we’re succeeding. And you’re definitely succeeding, friend. I’ve been blessed by getting to know you better the past few months! You have such a gentle, caring spirit (and you’re a great proofreader, too!).
I’m featuring your post on Friday at my blog as the featured post of the week for the Grace & Truth linkup. It really resonates with me!
Thank you, Lisa!
Aw, Lisa. Thank you. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you better the past several months, too. Although, in a way, I felt like I knew you through your blog before that. 😉 Thank you so much for stopping by and for your encouraging words.
Thank you, Ashley, for encouraging us, as you encourage yourself! I’ve always believed that if you’re showing up you are succeeding, but also that failure is sometimes the best teacher. Failing doesn’t mean we aren’t any good or didn’t succeed. Sometimes we have to fail to find the right way of doing something, but if we fear failing, we actually fail to learn.
Wishing you well in your new season!!
That’s an excellent point, Donna. We can learn so much through our “failures.” Maybe we need a new word, though, because even that isn’t really a failure. right? Thank you for commenting. I’m so glad others might be encouraged along with me.
Great encouragement. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know much of anything perfectly. As you said, the more we know, the more we find we need to know. But we don’t grow if we don’t keep taking in and then using what we learn.
So true, Barbara. It’s so important to keep growing, even if we do have to circle sometimes. Thank you for commenting!
Ashley, this meant a lot to me today. I’ve been struggling with the concept of failure in an area of my life. I’m going to press in and show up. Adulting can be such a challenge!
Thank you, friend.
Blessings,
Tammy
BTW–sharing at Grace & Truth. 🙂
Sometimes I’m surprised by those who struggle in the same ways I do. You are one of those people. You are such a talented writer, and you’re always full of great ideas. But then it’s a wonderful reminder that we’re dealing with the same insecurities sometimes, and we can come along together to encourage one another. Here’s to showing up, huh? Thank you so much for the comment.
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Wonderful and encouraging post. Success is such a relative term as it truly looks different to each of us. But you are so right, Ashley, in that the one way it looks the same is in showing up. There is so much to learn in life and the older I get, the greater my desire to learn. “But always show up. God will handle the results.”
Yes, success is totally relative, but many times our success is showing up. Thank you so much for commenting, Joanne!