This is a special time of year for me. I’ve always loved watching the leaves show off their colors, but now it also reminds me of my anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been six years already.
Each anniversary makes me reflect over all the time that’s passed, and while I know many of you are probably reading this and thinking six years isn’t very long, I know six more years will pass in a blink. I’ll be asking myself again where has the time gone?
I’m doing my usual reflecting this year, but there’s also this yearning for the time to slow, just a little. I have no desire to go back in time: we’ve already grown more than I could’ve imagined, and I’d never sacrifice that. I look forward to seeing how we grow from here; I just wish the time would pass just a little slower.
I want to soak in every minute I can. And my reflections this year are causing me to ask myself if I’m making the most of the time we have. Am I treating my husband like the treasure he is?
The answer I’ve come to is yes and no.
I don’t think reflection can ever lead us to land on just one side of right. We tend to be somewhere in the middle, because we do many things right, but we do just as many wrong, and then there are some things we do that are steps in the right direction but could use some improvement.
I know I fall into both camps, but the biggest thing I see right now that I could do better is to pay attention to the little things. I’m a firm believer we show our love for others, or lack of it, in the little things.
Randy is so good at the little things. He likes to fix me my favorite juice in the evenings, insists on putting himself between moving cars and me while walking on a sidewalk or through a parking lot, and still opens the door for me.
He’s so good at the little things I wonder how I can do the same for him, so I’ve brainstormed a list of what I can do that’ll have a big impact on him. And just maybe this list can help you too.
- Pray: Every time I think of him throughout the day, say a prayer for him related to what I’m thinking about.
- Text: We text each other once a workday, and he’s usually the first. He probably would love if I texted him first more often.
- Talk: Randy’s the more talkative one in our relationship; sometimes I just don’t feel like talking. I’m sure it’d mean a lot to him if I made the effort.
- Love Notes: We do this sometimes, but I could leave him post-its in his lunch box, the car, or at his place at the table more often to remind him of my love, thoughts, and encouragement.
- Chores: I could help him with his chores, even if it’s just to be the go-getter – at least keep him company.
- Respond Well: Sometimes we have a hard time with life, and we may be a little tense with others as a result without even realizing it. When he’s having one of those times, I could do better at responding with a listening ear and kind tone.
- Tell Him: Each day he needs to hear one thing I love about him.
- Smile: I’m one of those people who wears my ‘mean’ face even when I’m fine. We joke about it a lot, but sometimes I could just smile more. He needs to see me enjoying our life together.
- Ask: Communication is always a big thing in relationships, and it’s easy to mix signals. Sometimes I just need to ask him if he’s getting what he needs.
- Just Do It: Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about doing those things that I don’t particularly care for but he loves: like watching car shows or a comedy.
These are little things but I know they’ll mean a lot to him, especially when he knows I’m going out of my way to do something for him.
Question for you…
What would you add to your list for you and your spouse? Let me know in the comments.